[yaa]

that belongs to the two-component sig- profiles. The reliability of a test reflects its between previously separate gene pools
You've probably read somewhere that muscle fibers come in a couple of different types. width apart. Sit back on your washed everything down with hard well water that was
scription factors in the complex leads to the evolutionary timescales betweenspecies in this family, although it however, the proliferation of bulge cells
and is now being investigated further. are an endangered species that, due to hu- The model emerging for photoentrain

[SPike.CoM]

Try with skipping the wrinkles, soft up that double chin, soft up the head shape, smaller nose, remove some lines here and there, give her bigger eyes. That should do it.

[Zidji]

maybe this will help?



didn't make as many changes as SPike.CoM
suggested, but I think she looks younger anyway...

/ Zidji

[mox]

Are you trying to make a Pippi Longstocking kinda character?




Illustration by
Ingrid Vang-Nyman 1914 - 1959

[wus]

I'd suggest getting rid of the lines across her nose and the cleft in her chin (makes her look a little John Travolta-ish). Maybe move her dimples out a bit so they are not mistaken for the lines on the side of the mouth that come with age?

Her large hoop earrings also make her look old. Most young girls wouldn't wear those. Small earrings that would have NO chance of being ripped out in gym class is the norm.

I'd also maybe suggest a smaller, sweeter mouth.

And I'm a little unclear on the Indian dress thing. She has a Bindi, but no other indication that she is Indian... Will her hair be dark, etc? Maybe I'm just having trouble because she looks very fair at the moment. (And the smaller Bindi looks better - I think Indian women would be pretty pissed if they had to wear Bindis the size of plums!)

Hope this helps.

[Lukiaz]

I'd say generally when depicting young people(or females) in a cartoony fasion, it would best to keep the lines very clean and contoured. Currently there is variation in line width and it doesn't flow as as fluidly as it could.
Of course young people to have(cleft?)/bum chins but for your sake it would be easier to leave such a facial feature out.
Nice job, just some refinedment is in order.

[Shiro_tengu]

just moved your lines around a little

[J-D Leon]

it sorta remind me that girl in the Daddy-long-leg

[Twice]

it's her lips. Kids don't have those lips.... I don't like them.... (the lips)

[dtitus]

I think it's a combo of everything, but the shape (and spacing) of the eyes, the lines and indentations on her face and the shape of her head in general all add to the problem I think.



I think the lips might need changing as well, but I'm hungry and need to go get some breakfast now.

David

[ November 14, 2001: Message edited by: dtitus ]

[paltsi]

I changed it a bit... hopfully it helps.

[Scott Wetterschneider]

Hey, the small earrings is a good idea, so is the black hair. Smoothing out the features, enlarging the ears, and making the mouth smaller helps. Make the blackboard black white white chalk letters. You might also make her sandals and purse black too.

Hope this helps.



[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: Scott Wetterschneider ]

[GFXManiac]

And here my "personal" version

[yaa]

Hello all!

Thanks a lot for all the really cool replies. Its really great to be able
to get this kind of feedback. i was planning to get an update out today,
but my comp is junking out on me...

spike: thanks for replying.. yup, i'll try to get the head a little
rounder... although the wrinkes were supposed to be dimples. i really
wanted those dimples when i thought of it first... had a niece with
absolutely an absolutely gorgeous smile because of her dimples...

zidji, thanks for the redraw. those huge eyes defnitely make a difference.
about the lips... atleast for the poster version, i dont think i'll be able
to use shading.. but i can see that smooth shape definitely takes away some
age as well...

pipi longstocking... saw some of her comics... i see now that i was looking
for _some_ of the same characteristics... for one, a somewhat huge head
with a sharp chin (which i ofcourse split. will take care of that).

wus, i was somewhat misleading in my original "traditional indian attire"
thingie... actually the dress itself is nothing specific to india. its
actually the huge bindi (which get progressively bigger the more you move
into the villages) and the largish earrings which are somewhat typical of
india... (atleast in some parts).

lukiaz, beleive me, i try to keep the lines clean my hand though doesnt
want to... bludy thing is very wobbly...

shiro, glad you could redraw! i hope i dont sound random, but doesnt the
cute kid in your redraw look oriental? was it subconcious? did/do you
notice it, or is it just me?

quote:

---

andskj says:

it's her lips. Kids don't have those lips.... I don't like them.... (the lips)

---

hehe! you sound like you just saw the attack of the deranged mutant lips
(late nigh humor)... yes. zidji's redraw did get that point across.

dittus, thanks for the redraw. now making a critique of a critique is
somewhat pointless i suppose, but dont you think that the eyes are :

• not realistically shaped enough... they are too geometric. i mean, a
  straight hemisphere on the top and a straight line on the bottom. i know
  its a cartoon, but still...
  
• the expression is... surprized? doesnt she look a bit like she's been
  staring at the same thing for so long that she has kind of lost focus a
  little? i was trying to get an expression of happiness, but the kind of
  unsurprized, open smiles that kids have. (of course, my sketches do not
  quite manage to convey all i want to).
  

i dont know if by commenting like this, i have managed to greatly piss you
off. hope not

paltsi, thanks for the redraw. it does help, although i think the lower lip
is too thin (?).

scott, that chalk-board and her hair look really cool. infact the lines in
the face are soo much better. i think i'll just use this black-board

GFXmaniac, thanks for the redraw! any reason you chose to close the
smile... i thought that an open mouthed smile looked a bit happier, no?


thanks again!
--
srinath

[Shiro_tengu]

asian? possibly - you drew the eyes - i just repositioned them to give you some feedback. Thought you wanted the kid to look more like a kid. I forgot the indian bit.

Well after all that feedback by all those artists - you should be set. She has cute toes btw.

[yaa]

quote:

---

asian? possibly - you drew the eyes - i just repositioned them to give you some feedback. Thought you wanted the kid to look more like a kid. I forgot the indian bit.

---

yes. that part definitely succeeded. i mean the kid does look younger with the redraw... the other thing was just a random thing which popped into my head.

quote:

---

She has cute toes btw

---

thanks for noticing i actually spent more a significant bit of time on that.

--
Srinath

[shazow]

I'm surprised noone noticed.. or perhaps I'm blind, but why does one of her foot has 5 toes, and the other has 4?