Sijun Forums :: View topic - Mediterranean city by the sea, Crit please

Capt.FlushGarden · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 2:17 pm

Hello everyone!
I'm working on this picture right now, dammit, so many windows to do! Well, just thought you guys could crit some before I continue with it...

Thanx!

Alloy · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 2:25 pm

Great pic so far. I once had a dream that I was in a city like that - but it was much more run down. I really wouldn't know where to critique it - I'm a newbie to all this. I just wanted to give you praise and encourage you to keep up the great work!

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Alloy(Jim Rose)

Giant Hamster · member Member # Joined: 22 Oct 1999 Posts: 1782

umm. looks good

but on the right side, where the rocks come up from the water, it looks like its wrapping around the city...like the city is sitting on a boat or something. maybe more of a distinction between the rocks in the front and the rocks on the side...

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-JameZ the Giant Hamster-

The Hamster Alliance
AIM: Gianthmstr
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Mozeman · member Member # Joined: 07 May 2000 Posts: 217

It's very nice. Looks like an animation background, so I guess I'm a sucker for it

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Mozeman
Moser Brothers Animation Forum

Ragnarok · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 2:43 pm

I really like the image, but there are some concept flaws if you are trying to make this one realistic:
-There are too many "artistic" buildings, I mean, there is a church in the foreground, but there is also a building with two towers in the background and something that looks like a roman building. The kind of seaside village you want to show here usually only haves one church, the rest is houses and some squares (don't knwo if this is the right word).
-On the church in the foreground the second tower is too small, even with the perspective size change it wouldn't look so small

-Mediterranean Sea is quite deep, I mean, the water haves a dark blue color, the one you have here is too bright IMO.

Anyways, the mood of the picture is very good

Capt.FlushGarden · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 2:56 pm

Ah, you�re absolutely right Ragnarok! My dad lives at a place just like this, in Sicily...and they only have one artistic building! but witch church shall I get rid of?...

Gecko · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 3:05 pm

Hey, it's a good start, and I was just gonna say that I don't like the half-cropped tree on the left, hurts composition.
I'd move it to the opposite side of the pic, but more to center, at least showing the whole trunk but preferably even more. That's because the church is the main building raising in the city and shouldn't be blocked

.

Another thing I noticed, the horizon is dead center on the pic, which afaik is a no-no.

Here's a suggestion for changing some of the stuff (hope you don't mind):

Cropped so the horizon is now about 3/4 to the top, brought up the church more so it's not just a bunch of buildings, threw the tree over (love the water btw.).

edit:
Oh and I broke some of the foreground because it was creating a sort of border in there, left the important part for the tree to grow from somewhere

.

Uh, melting the overlay layer f*cked the bright light, well, you get the idea. It's a lovely pic.

and btw. I don't know what giand hamster is talking about

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Gecko
[email protected]
GeckoArt.Net

[This message has been edited by Gecko (edited December 28, 2000).]

Capt.FlushGarden · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 3:10 pm

Amazing! Thank you very much Gecko, I really need to learn more about composition and stuff, that's great, now I got rid of one church too because the tree is blocking the first one hahaaa!!

BTW, look! Paina L�pp�� sissen ja aava!? hehhe

[This message has been edited by Capt.FlushGarden (edited December 28, 2000).]

mr.wonton · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 3:25 pm

I agree with Gekko, I just wanted to ask, is this supposed tobe realistic or more catoon like? If it's supposed tobe cartoony htensome more value and compositional work would be in order, If it's supposed to be realistic then definately some more perspective work.....Great start though...

WICKED · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 3:56 pm

i dont know i kind of like the tree over on the left side. It makes your eye look at the ocean hitting against the wave block wall. Sure if the tree goes to the right your eyes will focus on the city, but i like the idea of my eyes looking out far wondering whats after that sea.
very well drawn,
WICKED

about the chruch you could make the other tower building broken down like it was the old church before the disaster hehe.

[This message has been edited by WICKED (edited December 28, 2000).]

Painted Melody · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 6:04 pm

I enjoy both versions.. they actually seem to be painted at slight different times of the day -- nice.

My only qualm would be the second version with the position of the tree, the tree slices the picture, stopping the eye from a smooth transition from left to right.

JJ

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anticz · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 6:16 pm

This might sound crazy but, this very much reminds me of some of MC Esher's early lithographs.

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Mike B. - Supervising Janitor
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Isric · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 7:16 pm

this picture is beautiful. Thank you.

Drorak · member Member # Joined: 20 Apr 2000 Posts: 169

It's really nice, I like the bright colors you used. What Gecko did is nice, but I like it better the way you had it. It feels like I'm sitting on hilltop overlooking my little town while looking out to sea.

EviLToYLeT · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 7:36 pm

Looks great as it is. But yah, the sea looks a little shallow and the water hitting the rocks should leave more of a spray in the air. Anyway, if you have time, i'd suggest that you detail up the area in which you consider the "center" or the focus of your painting. It'll be cool

... (wait doh jus tlooked over the picture again) One thing about the original that kinda strikes me as odd is that ...... as the buildings are closer, the less detail they have..but as you go further down they get more detailed! Must be farsighted... hehe

jcterminal · Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2000 10:02 pm

very nice work. the both of you.

it reminds me very much of escher's studies of, yep, the very same area.

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j.c.terminal
mind
body
soul

Bradford · Guest Member #

Awesome picture, I dig the detail and perspective.

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[email protected]
icq#:3704871

spooge demon · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 1:39 am

hey looks good!

Check your verticals, though. They are all leaning to the right, or maybe there is a cat on my shoulder.

The whitewashed walls in sun could almost go white in a few places. Right now the read on the material is grayed somewhat to me.

The heavy black you are using for windows does not do the rest of your careful work justice. In the back they are punching holes in space. There are two windows on the left right by the curve of the tree that you have backed off a little value wise, I think that looks better.

Umm I will be quiet now.

tayete · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 1:39 am

EvilToYlet: the Mediterranean is a "quiet" sea...it doesn't even have tides. No waves, no splashing...a boring sea.
But what I miss in the pictures is the "atmosphere" of the Mediterranean. If you are in Spain, in Italy, in the North of Africa, in Greece, the light is much brighter in a clear day than appears in the picture.
And I think the windows seem too "defined". From the point of view of the picture, they wouldn't be so dark, but a bit "vanished".
I make this observations because I've spent many times in Mediterranean villages, but anyway, the picture looks nice.

Ragnarok · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 8:25 am

Yeah, tayete, the light should be a bit brighter. Maybe you could make the sky brighter and the sea darker. Also, most of the houses are white and reflect very much the light.
The first composition is right to me, but maybe would look better with more space over the right and a tiny boat in the horizont, so it can be a focus.
About the churches I would remove the left one.
I've just made some overpainting to show you, I hope you don't mind:

-Ragnarok

[edit]I've also changed the contrast value[/edit]

[This message has been edited by Ragnarok (edited December 29, 2000).]

Capt.FlushGarden · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 10:09 am

Mother of all gods! You guys know how to help a lost artist, hehehe...thnk you! I'm working on it, but I've started on some other stuff too, check it out, I'm posting it right now...
The left side of the pic is less ready than the right, that's why some of you might think you are farsighted hehehe...
Ah, and it's suupposed to be more cartoonish, but yet kinda photorealistic..
I did this version before I read all the crit's, but roger, ten four! I will darken the sea, lighten the houses, make the windows more discreet...and all that stuff...hehehe

[This message has been edited by Capt.FlushGarden (edited December 29, 2000).]

Ragnarok · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 2:15 pm

Ejem, cactus are more mexican than meditarranean. BTW the pic looks good, I hope you will post a finished version

Capt.FlushGarden · Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2000 3:01 pm

DOH! but, but, i remember, in sicily, cactus, with fruit and stuff, mmmmmmmm...I will post the finished one, but this post will be long gone before then hehe

[This message has been edited by Capt.FlushGarden (edited December 29, 2000).]

Chronic Beauty · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 4:14 pm

i like the picture but does anyone have an uneasy feeling when looking at it? For some reason i cant help feel the town is going to fall into the sea, it looks off balance a little.

Ragnarok · Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2000 4:18 pm

Chronic, usually that's the feeling mediterranean villages have =)